The Smell of Bullshit, part 19: a little something extra in your bath

I would like to draw your attention to this thread on the Lush International Forum. For those who can’t or won’t click, the first post in the thread is by DirtyMagick. The title of the thread is I’m pretty sure I just found a maggot in my Butterball and the first post says

Or at least pieces of.

It’s been ages since I’ve bought any ‘luxury’, one use items from Lush (or much from Lush at all, really), but since I’ve been really pissed off at the fact that I’m no longer a normal human being that eats food, I decided to cheer myself up by buying some non edible treats a few weeks ago.

Today has been particularly tough with the smell of a roast wafting about the place, so it seemed like a good time for one of those ‘treats’.

When I got in the water I began my usual of scooping up any unmelted blobs of cocoa butter that are still floating to rub them into my skin.. Except this particular blob, upon rubbing it between my fingers, felt sort of mucilaginous.. nothing like the oily feeling I was expecting. I had a closer look at it and noticed that this clear gooey stuff seemed to have been contained in a kind of whitish skin, made up of a couple of short segments joined together and a brownish bit on one end. Really familiar looking,maybe resembles a very mushy bit of short brown rice? I thought. I couldn’t remember ever finding anything similar in a Butterball before, but I made a note to check ingredients later. During the bath I found another couple of these ‘segments’.

I’ve just looked up the ingredients; there’s nothing in there that it could have been. And it’s just dawned on me why they looked so familiar, those fleshy, scallop-edged segments. I’m far from squeamish but I’m really not amused to think that I’ve just shared my bathwater with the juice of a freshly squeezed maggot.

ETA just went to clean the cocoa butter off the sides of the bath and found this stuck to the bottom:

maggotybathButterball contains lots of cocoa butter, so this could easily be part of some sort of bug or larvae which was hidden in the cocoa butter. It’s almost certainly harmless, but it’s really pretty disgusting.

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7 thoughts on “The Smell of Bullshit, part 19: a little something extra in your bath

  1. Perhaps it was a small shred of Mark Constantine’s conscience? No, you’re right, he doesn’t have one!

  2. Yeah, but that’s ‘value for money’. Like the makeup which stains your skin (semi permanent!), the shampoo that always cleans your floor (dual use!), the perfume which smells like a meat rendering plant (er…sensory adventure?). As Mark Constantine has often said, he does like to give that extra bit of ‘value for money’. This maggoty delight must have been the ‘moisturising bath with extra adrenaline rush thrown in’. In all seriousness, it’s disgusting, and if that was food I would be contacting environmental health to check out their manufacturing facilities.

  3. It appears we have another little something extra in the bath too – GLITTER!!

    Remember how Lush made a big old song and dance about taking glitter out of products? Well, what a surprise, it’s not quite true!

    In a sanctimonious article, released towards the end of 2012 (if memory serves me correctly), Lush trumpeted to the world that they were ‘pleased to announce the end of plastic glitter in our products’ in a unwisely titled article called “Lush hasn’t lost its sparkle”. The article is linked below:

    https://www.lush.co.uk/content/view/7772

    After work today I was feeling a little glum and fancied a laugh, so after my evening meal I went onto the Lush ‘Customer Care’ section of the International Forum. Regular forum readers will understand why I find that concept comical. Anyway, a customer on there bought a Dragon’s Egg ballistic believing it to no longer have glitter in (due to the announcement above), which was a fair assumption to make. As she settled down to her Dragon’s Egg bath, she soon found herself covered in itchy glitter. Not happy, this lovely forumite addressed the Customer Care team on the forum. Unusually, she had a speedy response, which was this:

    “Unfortunately some products have taken longer to approve and find suitable alternatives to the glitter used and as you can imagine we didn’t want our customers to be without their favourites while not wasting the glitter we had in stock.

    Sweetie Pie Jelly, Space Girl and Ultimate Shine glitter free versions are currently in production. We are waiting upon new ingredients for our Sunny Side bubble bar, which means we will be able to start production very soon.

    However, there are a couple of products we are still finalising; Twilight, Dragon’s Egg and Shimmy Shimmy. We want to make sure they are just right and endeavor for the glitter free change not to affect customer experience.”

    (Source: http://forum.lush.co.uk/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=133107)

    Well what a fucking surprise, another case of Lush jumping the gun. Why are they simply unable to put everything in motion, sign all the boxes, get it ship ship shape and Bristol fashion, and THEN make the announcement? You know, like a normal business would do? It’s a very typical Lush thing to do – slap dash, in a rush, with no care for the consequence (which will ultimately be customer experience – as long as it doesn’t immediately hit their bottom line, they don’t seem to care). How many times over the years have we seen products announced, only for them never to appear? Ever in the rush to make the announcement we have seen product appear in the Lush times, like a vision in the desert, destined never to appear on the shelves. We’ve had competitions started but never completed (and in some cases, where they were judged and prizes were awarded, some prizes – pretty big ones too – were never sent out. Something also covered in this blog, so I have seen); Ranges promised to be ‘in the pipeline’ (who remembers the baby range?) with never a word heard again; Promises that gifts will be FINALLY SORTED OUT only for us (and our gift recipients) to be disappointed year on year; Perfume bottles that continually leak with no satisfactory solution in sight (one has been mooted, I will believe it when I see it. Although I won’t see it, I only buy proper perfume these days – not a bunch of vulgar jasmine or top notes thrown together by, in my opinion, narcissistic pseudo ‘perfumers’).

    I could go on, but what’s the point? It all leads on a road to nowhere, but I thought I would share. One thing I will say though is, Lush you really HAVE lost your sparkle. About 3 years ago.

  4. I complained about my perfume bottles to Customer Services, with photos, and they offered me a gift voucher or credit on my mail order account. For other reasons I explained I was done with Lush and would like my money back as a cheque. I got it through the post shortly afterwards. I think more people asking for their actual money back will poke them in the eye more.

  5. To be fair to Lush (although admittedly, I don’t want to be), they didn’t actually say they were removing the glitter, they said they were changing it to bio-degradable/agar/”better” glitter. So Dragon’s Egg will always be sparkly, and if you don’t like glitter don’t use it.

    I do, however, agree that they should have made the damn nu-glitta products, and THEN TOLD US. Don’t announce things that haven’t been produced yet, good lord!

  6. Oh no, let’s not be fair to Lush! I mean, do we really have to? Although I sort of of see your point…

    As an ex customer, I feel that they treat their customers rather shoddily (and also staff, it would seem, from what we can see here). That’s why I am an ex customer! I didn’t like how I was treated or the quality of the product on offer, so being a person of reasonable intelligence I took my pounds, shilling and pence to someone who appreciated it and would give me value for my hard earned shekels.

    It is my opinion that Lush are just so sloppy with words, with products, with people. Look carefully at the website; you can see they use what I believe to be misleading web copy with some pretty spurious claims (shower gels with essential oils capable of calming a real medical condition, PMT, really Lush?! Or how about the ‘regenerative’ essential oils in Ayesha face mask. Really, who writes this shit?); their words are often sound-bite over actual substance and don’t actually mean anything; they make announcements for products which never appear; they no longer actively communicate with their customer (last time was January, via email newsletter and the Lush Times). They either can’t be arsed or are completely unable to communicate with any clarity or common sense. Or timeliness, it would seem.

    I think it was a fair assumption for this customer to make; she was told it would be the end of plastic itchy glitter after reading the announcement and that it would be replaced with something nice and seaweed based and biodegradable and it wasn’t – it was the same old shit. I think that’s what Lush is now, just the same old shit, marketed slightly differently. When they can be bothered to market it at all, that is. What a load of sweaty old glittery itchy bollocks.

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