Sometimes the pool is really really funny

Sometimes the pool is really really funny.

First funny thing – two women, both so orange if you put Dale Winton next to them you’d ask him if he was ok ‘cos he’d be looking a bit peaky, hair tied up, full faces of makeup, side by side talking and doing the lady breaststroke with rigid necks – no danger at all of them getting their heads wet. Giant German kid either misjudges spectacularly or judges it perfectly, does fantastic running bomb and lands just next to them. Drenched.

Second funny thing – 9th length, I get to the far end of the pool, struggle to find a bit of edge to hang from because two men are talking, one at either side of the lane, and the bloke in front of me is also taking a rest. I hear one of the talking men, a Scot, say something to the other man about does he like bacon? The other man, who turns out to be foreign, possibly German or Dutch, says no, he doesn’t really like bacon. The Scot says oh, I really like smoked bacon, and the man from abroad says he likes smoked fish. I think “that’s somewhat random” and set off for length 10. At the end of length 11, they’re still there, but Scottish man has moved ever so slightly closer so I feel really quite awkward in between them, and is saying something about “she’s 17 and she’s going to university next year to study music.” I set off again. At the end of length 13 the Scot has moved slightly closer again so it’s hard to choose whether to go between them or behind the Scot, but I go between them because they’re starting to annoy me by not moving out of the lane to chat. The Scot is saying something about some men think it’s good to drink as many as ten pints of beer. I wonder how on earth they’ve got from bacon to music degrees to a quiet night in, and set off. After lengths 15 and 17 they’re still there, but the Scot has moved so close to the other guy I definitely can’t fit between them, and I can’t remember what they were talking about. After length 19 they’ve moved apart and the Scot is saying something about saying hello to people you pass in the street, while the other bloke looks totally glazed over.
After length 20, I left.


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