Top Writing Tips on How to Screw Women Over

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David Griffin, aka Dave Lee Travis has been convicted of sexual assault. Another man, another offence against women; same shit, different day.

Yet still, after millennia of male-on-female violence, there are those who believe it just can’t be that simple. These people are imbued with insight, experience and common sense that many of us don’t have. Luckily for us though, they are commissioned by The Mail and The Independent so we can read their words, and give ourselves a good slap round the face before our womanly hysteria overcomes us.

Here’s a ten point guide on how to knock out such a piece.

  1. Begin by stating that you disapprove in the strongest terms to the crime. It’s important that your readers don’t think you’re a pervert.
  2. Summarise the crime, but in the most reductive terms. DO NOT stray into the emotional impact for the victim, because that would eventually take…

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