Now that I’ve acknowledged that things aren’t right, I’m trying to use the periods when I do have a bit of motivation to set myself up for when I don’t. So this morning I realised the prospect of the walk to Lauriston Place and back was too much for me and I scrapped the idea of giving blood. Instead, I went to Tesco and then to the Wee Boulangerie for a loaf of rye sourdough. Then I came home, had a sit down, and had bread and peanut butter for lunch. I spent the afternoon reading The Monogram Murders and watching the last 3 sets in the Davis Cup men’s doubles.
This evening I chopped up some onions and garlic and put them in a frying pan on a very low heat to soften, while I had a sit down. Once I felt like getting up again, I chopped up the 6 packs of tomatoes I accidentally ordered the other week instead of 6 tomatoes, and stuck them in the pan too, with a bay leaf, some honey and some balsamic vinegar. Once that’s all cooked down, I’ll have pasta sauce for 2 dinners this week and another couple for the freezer. Tomorrow I will make Anjun Anand’s spinach with black-eyed beans and that will be two more dinners for this week and two more for the freezer.
So I’ve used the small pockets of energy and motivation I’ve had today to make sure I’ll have decent meals when I get in from work with no energy and motivation. And when I was too schlumpy at lunchtime to make a decent lunch, I had really nice bread and peanut butter which was easy and so delicious it didn’t feel like I’d settled for the only thing I could manage.